story time

We've got a new favourite activity around here.

Listening to stories on tape. Yes, tape, as in cassette tape. We are officially old school. I was digging around in the closet the other day, looking for some yarn (I have a lot of yarn, but of course, was looking for some specific yarn. You know how it goes) when I found this old box of cassette tapes and story books left over from my childhood. My organized and clever mom had saved them all neatly together in a labeled box. Why, oh why did I not inherit her organizational gene? Its just not fair.

 After a brief moment of consideration I decided to let the Little Dude have them. He was right at my elbow after all, saying "What's dat? What are dose fings? I want to look at dose!" So it would have been rather hard to say no. But I did have slight reservations about it. Thus far in his life, we have not exposed him to TV. I decided early on, after reading some really good books on the subject, that we were going to try and raise a somewhat media-free child. That means, he doesn't watch TV, or movies, or play video games etc. He has some limited computer access to videos. Which means that he's allowed to watch video clips of his cousins on Facebook, (they love so far away, and I don't want him to forget them between visits) and if we are talking about something specific that he'll never see in real life, but can find a video of on YouTube we'll watch that too. For example, the other day the concept of monkey's grooming each other came up in conversation, and then we went and watched a couple of monkey grooming videos. Fascinating. Also, have you seen this 'monkey babysitter' one? Very interesting. 

So I decided that we'd go ahead and listen to books on tape. I also decided to dole them out two at a time, so as to benefit from their novelty as much a possible. They are not too long, but I must admit, I do enjoy the few moments of 'free time' they afford me, as he is absorbed in listening to them. Of course, it only lasts for about a dozen listenings, and after that I'm exhorted to sit and listen with him, or they kind of get ignored once the fun part of putting in the tape and pushing the buttons is over (what three year old in the world does not love pushing buttons). The books and tapes are part of a series copyrighted in 1973 called "The Story Teller Presents...", and proudly declare that they include "music of the Great Masters". Sure enough, each narrated story is laid out over a famous piece of classical music that enhances the story in some way. However, its very annoying that nowhere in the book does it tell you which famous piece of music it is, or who the Great Master was. And my knowledge of classical music is good, but not great, so I can hum along with all of them, and can't tell you the names. So frustrating. 

However, there was one small aspect of these little stories that I overlooked. Their content. I mean, they used to be mine, and I was raised in a very safe and fairly conservative household, so I didn't think twice about what was actually in these little books. You can't go wrong with fairytales, right?

Hunh. I'd completely forgotten how violent fairytales are. I'd anticipated some sexism. After all, I did do a bit of Women's Studies in University. So I reserved what I was sure would be the major offenders (Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White) for later after I'd had time to vet them for content. But it didn't even occur to me that I might have issues with The Ugly Duckling! 

Dude! That story is rough! The level of self loathing that that poor little duckling goes through is crazy. Suicidal thoughts and everything! I had no memory of it being this intense, but I didn't even let him hear the whole thing, because it was freaking me out. The other ducks are so mean to him too. I'm not sure that the moral (attractiveness is all relative and someday you'll find out where you fit in) is even worth it.

His mother rejects him, the other ducks try to hurt him. Finally, he leaves the ducks and goes out on his own, and spends a really, really bad winter by himself and almost dies a couple of times. 

Then he sees the swans, and marvels at how beautiful they are, and his big solution to the torment of his life is to go to the swans and hope they kill him! Seriously! Suicide by swan. "In the pond were three beautiful swans. He recognized them at once and said to himself, 'I'll go to the beautiful birds and let them kill me. I am so ugly, the certainly would not want me around. But.. it is better to be killed by them than to suffer through another winter."

I could not believe this was a kids book. Even for the 70's this seems harsh. 

Anyhow, we've put that one away. L.D. wasn't much interested in it anyhow. His favourites are clear: Tom Thumb, Little Red Riding Hood and Jack and the Beanstalk.

I must say, that I'm impressed with the Little Dude's comprehension and recall about the details of these stories. Yesterday I was laying on the bed, breastfeeding the Baby, and L.D. was hovering about with nothing to do and getting into mischief (resetting Hubs' bedside clock, not the best idea) so I quickly said "Come sit here and I'll tell you about Jack and the Beanstalk" and I proceeded to tell him the story from memory. But he quickly corrected me on some pretty specific details. Its not a chicken that lays golden eggs, but a hen. And the pot that Jack hid in was a copper pot. Oh, and also, the Giant's name is BoBo. I disputed him on that one, but he was adamant. I thought it was cute that he made up a name for the giant, and the later on and heard him listening to the tape and.. he was right. The giant's name is BoBo. Go figure. 

And of course, there is some annoying sexism. For example, in Rumpelstiltskin, the Miller's Daugher (Named Joy) is very beautiful...
...but the greedy King only sees her as a gold producing wonder at first. Then, after she has spun straw into gold for him twice, he finally notices that she is beautiful. 

(Note her seductive look. Very funny) and then shows just what kind of a douche he truly is.

Just in case you can't read the text in the picture above, this is what it says: "The King took Joy into his arms and said, 'If you spin all this straw into gold, I will marry you and make you my queen. But if you fail, my people will laugh at me and unfortunately you will have to die! I will return in the morning.' With that he left." Sheesh! I can't even begin to describe all the ways that is wrong. In any case, I don't want my kid reading it. 

I've got more thoughts on this and some other interesting examples of violence and the Little Dude's reaction to them, but I'll have to post about it tomorrow, because its getting late and I need to get to bed soon. But I'm interested in hearing your point of view. Do you ever sensor your kids reading? Do you soften some of the harsher things, or leave out gory details? Do you read original fairy tales, of just the bowdlerized Disney versions? Which stories have you decided are too much? I'm curious to hear about your experiences with the more difficult fairy tales and moral stories. 

Comments

[Anna]

There is a collection of fairy tales that didn't make it into the Hans Christian Anderson collection, assembled into a book called "Clever Gretchen and other forgotten folktales", and it has stories where girls rock too. Mostly fun, I don't remember any violence or awfulness - just the regular outwitting, disguises, and cleverness for good ends. But it's mostly text, not so many pictures.

[michele]

Wow, this is a hard one and one we struggle with everyday. Raising 2 girls I want them to be independant and have a sense of their own worth, but this is hard to do. We do generally stick with disneyfied versions of fairy tales but I try to explain things like how the "princess" could have saved herself. Also my family thought I was nuts and all crunchy granola for breastfeeding my girls and not giving them tons of candy and juice, I mean I just found out that my mother gives my 16 month old ketchup. Now I'm not against it so much as she doesn't need it and wouldn't even want it if hadn't been given to her.

[finger thumb]

Oooh, I'm totally going to look up that book Anna, good recommendation!
Michelle, I hear you on the granola issues. My family is pretty supportive of my choices, so that's good, but I'm always amazed by how many near strangers will offer my kid candy! And the 'kids' menu at restaurants if often made up of the junkiest foods. I too have the feeling that if you don't offer them crap, they won't know it exists, so we haven't introduced ketchup either. He doesn't need the extra sugar. Stick with your good instincts!
Oh, and I just remembered this funny retelling of the Rumpelstiltskin story. Worth looking for, though for slightly older readers maybe. In it the Millers daughter marries Rumpelstiltskin instead of the king, because she like his ideas on child rearing. Very funny.

[finger thumb]

oops, forgot the link for that story I was just talking about. I always do that. Its called Rumpelstiltskin's Daughter and here's the link.
http://www.amazon.com/Rumpelstiltskins-Daughter-Diane-Stanley/dp/product-description/068814327X