So in a fit of self-indulgence combined with trying to be thrifty, (you know, instead of buying them. That's how its thrifty.) I baked myself cookies tonight, and I think it may have been a bad idea. I have this lovely pinterest board full of recipes that I cannot bake because they aren't wheat free/dairy free, so I decided to indulge myself and bake tonight. Yeah, bake for fun, like I used to. It was such a- I don't know, is 'relief' the right word? - to get out a pound of butter and the dusty old jar of flour and just do it. Without thinking too much or substituting or second guessing. I just slapped that shit together, following the recipe just as it was written and -boom- cookies. Sigh. It made me feel kind of sad. Or maybe that's just my sugar crash talking. I made these Soft Brown Sugar Cookies with Browned Butter Icing (but I think they should be called 'cakies' not 'cookies' because they had a very cake-like texture). I tasted one before I had the icing on it, and I was all like, "meh, not that awesome." I mean they're sweet and tasty and all, but they are not blowing my mind. And then I put the icing on them AND THEY BLEW MY MIND. They did indeed melt in my mouth just as the website promised. In fact they were so good it made me kind of mad. You know why? Because I have not been able to make a cookie that good in a looooong time. And also, I can't make a cookie that good for the Little Dude ever. I was telling Hubs this, and he said "But why?" and I said "Because....butter!" He said I needed at t-shirt that said that. And its true, that is totally my t-shirt. But while that's funny and all, really it just makes me kind of sad/angry that my kid lives in a world without butter. A Gluten Free/Dairy Free/Peanut Free world of allergy caution. A world of dry crumbly baking that's always just a little too.... sandy to be awesome. A world where I have to bake cookies like these at night after he's in bed because it would just be cruel to make them when he was around and couldn't eat them. Because he would have loved these cookies. LOVED them. He would eat one and get that big smile and then jump up and run over and hug me and....sigh. Ok, its probably at least a good thing that we are not creating a relationship where food means love, but still, BOY do I hope this is one of those allergies that he's going to 'outgrow'. Does that really happen? I'm doubtful, but so many people tell me they knew someone who had a dairy allergy and somehow magically they outgrew it.
Ok, I'm going to take my sugar hangover (because I ate, like eight of those tasty little mofos.) The only thing I can say in my defense is that I left them on the kitchen table so every time I wanted one I had to get up from the couch upstairs where I was folding laundry and walk all the way down the stairs and across the kitchen to get another one. So at least I was kind of exercising while I was binge eating. Right?
Anyhow, if you can eat wheat and dairy you should try those cookies. And if you can't eat wheat and diary, you should avoid those cookies. Not just because they are full of flour and sugar, but 'cause those cookies will break your heart.