snow couch

How lovely is this.

Snow couch! I'm always on the lookout for a nice abandoned couch to photograph, and I have also been complaining about the lack of couches to photograph in the country. I should admit that this one is not actually in the country, but in a near-by subdivision. And for some reason it took me for-ever to get this picture. That's another thing that's interesting about non-urban abandoned couches- how long they linger around.  

When we used to live in Montreal, a couch might be out on the curb for a day, maybe two. Often, they are adopted and taken to a new/less picky home (if they are nice and don't already smell like cat pee) Or, it could be that people in big cities know when the large item garbage pickup days are, and they leave them out near to that day. Or maybe large item pickup day is more frequent in cities. Whatever the case, if I seen a couch that I want a picture of in Montreal, I've got to act fast. Which in my pre-baby days of riding around on bikes with a camera in my pocket, suited me fine. At worst, I might have forgotten my camera, in which case I'd just have to pop home and then, cycle back to the couch for the photo. 

The pacing of my life is a little different now. First of all, there is the whole rural living thing. I don't bike anywhere any more. I drive. So when I'm out and I see something, it is usually kind of far-ish away. And of course, I now have a baby, so its a bit harder to be spontaneous about things like this. I saw this couch for the first time, like, four days ago, but I was out with the baby, and did not have the camera with me. By the time we got home, I had to get him out of the car seat, and feed him lunch and I simply forgot. The next day, when I passed the couch, I was on my own, but again, am out of the habit of taking my camera places. No matter, I thought, I'll just quickly get my camera pop back out here to take the picture. But when I got home, my mom was on her way out, and so I no longer had childcare back up. And it did not seem worth it to get the baby in a snowsuit and strapped into the car seat in order to take a picture of a derelict sofa. The next day, I never actually left the house. Today I was having a bad house-work karma kind of day. The baby took two naps (awesome) but woke up soaking wet and having leaked through his diaper and pj's and sheets and mattress cover both times! (not awesome) So I washed all those articles TWICE! Housework is not my favourite thing (though really, who loves housework?) and always has that feeling of something that you do, just to have it undone and do it again. But seriously? Laundering all the exact same articles, twice today? Sigh. So finally, today, when my Hubs came home for lunch, I really needed the break and I tagged off with him, and ran out of the house, sans bebe, in order to take these pictures. (ps: my Hubs is awesome)

It kind of seems funny, all that wrangling to take some pictures of garbage, but somehow, its about more than the fact that I find abandoned furniture both beautiful and forlorn. Its about my need to keep up with my art practice, despite the fact that I'm busy with my little guy, and am no longer in a city with a vibrant cultural life. And in my life as a parent its also about holding on to myself, and the things I do and like, and making a little bit of space for me, even if it is just to go out and take pictures of a snow-blanketed sofa that nobody wants anymore. Its important, and if you who are reading this, are a mom, take some time for yourself today. Think about what you need, and what you like to do. And then do it. I know its hard sometimes, but find a way. You'll be a better mom for having done it.  

Comments

[Zonnah]

I completly understand how everything is different since having a kid. I am glad you were able to get a pic of the couch!

[cynthia vander kooij]

Wow, I can't believe that a posting about an abandoned couch almost made me cry and it did in a most lovely way...
I know so well the feeling of working so hard to take care of your kids that the moments of regeneration and creativity can just be gone. And even though we all come perilously close to that when we are moms, and our kids really are worth the sacrifice and do need to come first sometimes (most of the time really), yet it is so lovely to be reminded in your poignant and aesthetic way, that time to be creative is as essential as air to our well being. It really makes us better parents when we take the time, just like you said. Lovely!!!!!

[steph]

You don't have to be a mom to be crazy busy and have to try and make time for something you want or need to do! I work two jobs: one is 36 hours a week and the other is from the time I get home till the time I go to bed (my freelance editing), so I find myself constantly chasing the hours. You know you're busy when you don't have time to go to Chapters and spend a hundred-dollar gift certificate, which is your favourite thing ever!

Only now it's finally catching up with me and my boss has noticed and brought it up at work, how distracted and tired I am and how she feels it's affecting her business. Meanwhile, I feel HER business is affecting MY business. But with C still unemployed, I need both. Thus, I need to find time to be present at both of those jobs, each in their own time.

As you said, though, finding time for YOU and what you love to do is crucial to being a better person. I agree wholeheartedly. It's taking care of the soul, I guess, and refreshing the perspective.

[finger thumb]

Steph: you make an excellent point - that parents or not, we ALL need to reclaim a little time for ourselves. So get your ass on over to a Chapters! Even if it is after work, and you are tired, (probably more like exhausted. Stop at a drive through on the way home, snarf down a burger in the car, and then use the time you would have spent having dinner browsing through books, and getting to take some home. Pretend your giftcard is going to expire in the next 5 days, and then you'll have to find the time. Cause dude, two jobs! I don't want you to implode.
Cyn: I'm so glad you posted! Brave lady ;) Its all true, and the craziest thing about parenting is the constant contradiction. Sacrifice Everything! But don't Lose Yourself! It sometimes has that Damned if you do, Damned if you don't feeling about it. Either way, moms in North America are encouraged to take a 24 hour guilt bath. Don't do it, I say. 'Parenting without Guilt!' is my new rallying cry.
Zonnah: two words - wet socks.

[Marcia Van Drunen]

good reminder :)