poor baby

Sorry that I did not have the energy and/or time to post last night. We're back on the cold train here. Or should I say, under the wheels of the cold bus. This time its the poor baby. I don't think he's had a 'real' cold yet. He had a little congestion awhile back, but this is a full on can't-breathe-when-you-lay-down cold. Which of course, means that he only sleeps for about 30-40 minutes at a stretch. SO BRUTAL. Last night I put him to bed at seven and then he was up on and off until 12:30. One of those really, really difficult parenting nights. Though I feel very blessed that the Little Dude had a great night and did not wake up at all, even though the Baby was wailing in the room next to him and up and down the hallway for large portions of it. Thank goodness for white noise machines. Anyhow, the Baby finally went down past midnight, and Hubs and I colapsed into bed. And then the Baby only woke up once between then and 6:20 am. So that could have been worse. And of course, my mom is AN ANGEL, who called me the next morning and asked if she'd like me to take the Little Dude for the morning. Um, is a frog's ass watertight? That'd be a yes. That way I could get some stuff done while the Baby was napping. Like cleaning up my computer so that I could actually download some photos. Argh. My computer is so full. And yes, I know you can just do some computer magic, like buy new ram or memory or whatever, but really, that doesn't solve the problem of there being, like, three years worth of photos on my computer. And ya'll, I take A LOT of photos. You may have noticed. Anyhow, did some clean up and posted new stuff on Etsy. Check it out. Posted one of the Test Pattern Totes. Thanks to Hubs for taking the awesome pictures for me.

Of course, the Baby did not know about my plans to get some work done, and he mostly had plans for being congested and tired and sad, so it took me about a half and hour to get him down for his nap.

A short digression on parenting: I have ideals for how I parent. This is not always the best thing. I have a plan that I like to follow. I have a way that I'd like for things to go. And I have rules for how I'm going to do things. (All the other parents who are reading this are smirking right now. To make a plan is folly, I know that, but still I try) And I'm not saying that my rules are The Right Way To Do Things with capital letters and all, but they are the way that I want to do things. Lets be clear. You should do things your way, and that way is whatever works best for you. Right? And my way is just my choice, and no reflection on your choices. There is waaaaaaay too much judgement in parenting as it is. I don't want to add to it.

That being said, there are a couple of things that I do, when I parent that make sense for our family. Our kids take regular naps, at regular times. We follow a schedule that has some leeway and room for extenuating circumstances, but generally speaking nap time and bed time follow a predictable routine. It works for us. And our baby sleeps in a crib. I am pro- co-sleeping, but have found that it does not work for us. We stay up much later than our kids, and also, they don't ever seem to want to sleep in our beds. Any time they've come into bed with us, they seem to think its time for a party and no one sleeps. So we don't co-sleep, even though I think its a fine idea. Also, I always put my kids to bed awake. Meaning, I don't rock them to sleep and then put them in bed and then leave the room. The theory is that they need to learn to put themselves to sleep, so I help to create the conditions for sleep (comfort, calmness, quiet, dark, etc) and then leave them to put themselves to sleep. Also, I think it'd be jarring to go to sleep in mom's arms but then wake up in another room entirely. That'd freak the baby out. Better that they know where they are falling asleep. But before you think I'm some sort of regimented hard-ass "let 'em cry it out" 50's style mom, let me tell you that I don't believe in leaving a baby to cry by himself. I'll sit in the baby's room with my hand on his back, and sing or shush for as long as it takes for him to be calm. But I don't run in and pick him up because he's crying, or nurse him either. Nursing isn't always the answer, and I don't want to become the human pacifier. (That being said, I'm a long term nurser, and breast fed the Little Dude until he weaned himself at 18 months. I'm very pro-breast feeding. I just don't like to use it as a catch all solution any time my baby cries)

Anyhow, all that is to say that today, all bets were off. The poor baby. He was SO unhappy and SO tired, and so unable to put himself to sleep. So I figured that I'd hold him until he was asleep. Well, that didn't work. He'd fall asleep soon enough, but as soon as I laid him down he was awake and crying the saddest cry in the world. (That baby really has the most heartbreaking cry I've ever heard. It totally sounds as though someone just told him that his dog died. Its the kind of cry you feel in your solar plexus, I'm telling you) I tried it three times, holding him for longer and longer intervals. Finally, my back (and my sanity) could not take it any longer. So I figured I'd feed him to sleep. Not what I usually do, but surely that'd work. And yes, he fell asleep, but again, as soon as I set him down he was wailing. So at last, after a half an hour and no sleep I made a last ditch effort. I got into the crib with him, lay down next to him, and breast fed him. He fell asleep and then I had to very, very carefully and quietly get back out of the crib. Not so easily done. But I managed it. They should totally train ninjas by giving them light-sleeping infants to care for. You get some mad ninja skills as a parent. I'm telling you no one can close a door as quietly as a mom.

So all that is to say that I'm tired. And have broken all my my (admittedly self-imposed) rules (that don't have to apply to you, because you can parent however you want. There's no 'right way') and just want a little time to myself that does not involve doing dishes.

But that Baby is still so darned cute. Even when he's sick. He was so lovely today when he was awake. Still just a happy little guy. Hubs was doing the cutest thing with him. What's that in the bag?