Its the little things really. The little moments that make up a day of parenting. We tend to take pictures of the milestones - the birthdays and first steps and Hallowe'en costumes and all of that. But those little moments, they are the mortar that holds the bricks of my life as a mom together. And I so desperately don't want to forget them. In all the bustle and busy-ness, in all the chores and to-do lists and diaper changes and spills to wipe up, I'm afraid that the sweet everyday moments will get buried in the piles of dirty laundry and and be forgotten. And I know that photographs are not the moment themselves, just a cold copy of the light and bright bit I'm trying to catch. But still, for me they are a little attempt at recording that moment. Holding on to the feeling of a brief time in my life and his before he grows up and out of the moment that we share now. So today I pulled out the camera in hopes that I could record the sweetness of my Baby after he wakes up from nap and nurses in the afternoon.
His face is different when he wakes up. His pout is extra pouty, his cheeks a little chubbier than normal. We call him Sobersides when he's still too groggy to smile.
Even on an overcast afternoon all the lights are too bright.
He hunkers down to have his post-nap feed, so warm and sweet.
His hand flutter across my stomach, searching out the comforting dimple of my belly button.
Its such a funny little gesture, but so a part of our time together right now. I can't say I always enjoy it, sometimes its a little annoying, but still, its so very him. And I want to remember it, because it is a little tiny bit of our now.
Eventually he sits up, and his face warms into a hint of a smile, the muscles less slack, the energy starting to creep up to the surface.
He decides the sun in not so bright and has a look around....
...and busts me out one of those smiles that I love so much. And then he's full of words, questions about "brudder" and his whereabouts, a comment about the bunnies and deer and trains and tractors that are on his mind lately. A request for another kind of snack ('gookie' and 'gandy' are high on the wish list these days) and that's it, the quiet moment is over and we're off to the rest of the hustle and bustle and business of our day. There will be more moments like this tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that, I'm sure. But gradually they will shift and change and one day be gone, and oh, how I want to remember them all.
There's no way I can sum up the feeling of the two of us curled up together on the couch in the later afternoon light, but at least these photos will someday help me to bring these sweet moments back into my mind long after they have changed into another kind of moment. This moment is. It is now. And we share it together.
Savor it, cherish it, for it goes by so fast! It is a special time that only you, as a nursing Mom , can experience in that special way. (That's why I sometimes feel sad for Dads, although I know they have special moments also.)
Enjoy the delightful warmth and closeness of that little boy!
Posted by: Leni | 11/07/2012 at 06:54 AM
its so beautiful and its ogne so fast! you are a wise woman to make the memory tangible! My heart is warmed. love to you both!
Posted by: Cyn | 11/07/2012 at 12:37 PM