finger thumb

one question at a time

*note: this post will include anatomically correct words for human genitalia. If that freaks you out, you are reading the wrong blog. 

Yep. So. Just had the ENTIRE where do babies come from talk with the Little Dude (6 years old), while the LIttle Guy (three years old) listened in. This important information was conveyed by me to them in the car on the way home from the drug store. A 10 minute car ride, and we pretty much covered the miracle of life. Now THAT is what I call efficient parenting. I don't even know how it started. One minute we're pointing out construction equipment on the side of the road, the next minute we're talking about the meeting of sperm and egg. 

I remember reading an article about how to explain this whole deal in most accessible way for your child, and the best piece of advice was to just answer the specific question the kids is asking, not go into a whole lot of stuff that might be too abstract for them. One question at a time. So we covered the clinical side of things: Women have eggs inside them. Men have sperm. When then sperm and the egg combine, that starts making a baby. Then that baby grows in the Mom's uterus (we also discussed the word "womb" and how that this is not in her stomach, but next to it sort of) until it is too big to stay in there, because there is not enough room. And then it comes out when the Mom gives birth.

He thought about that for a second and then moved on to the next logical question: "How does the sperm from the Dad get to the egg in the Mom?" 

Now, I've thought about this moment. And this question. We are no longer talking about babies and birth. Now we are talking about sex. And I was not going to wimp out on this and be weird and awkward and hedge around it or suggest that someday, later he'd be big enough to understand it or to talk to his Dad, or something like that. Nope, if this is where my kids are going to first hear about sex, (and I'm very happy that it is) I'm going to be straight forward with them, and not give them the non-verbal idea that this is weird or embarrassing or something like that. And so we forged on. "The sperm comes out of the Dad's penis. He puts it in the Mom's vagina, and then it goes up into her uterus where the egg is." And pause. And wait for that to be computed by his little brain. 

I wish I had had a tape recorder running (do they even still makes tape recorders? That seems like a really 90's sort of thing. Is that what people use now? Or is there some sort of iPhone app now? But I digress.) because I honestly cannot remember the whole conversation verbatim. But we went on from there along these lines. Q: Where does the sperm come out of the man? A: From the end of his penis. Q: Does the baby have to crack out of the egg to come out? A: No. Its not like a chicken egg. Its a little tiny, tiny squishy egg, sort of like how fish eggs look. Q: How does it grow into a baby? A: The egg and the sperm together make a cell, and our body is made of millions of cells, so that one cell keeps dividing and making more cells until there is a whole little tiny human being inside the Mom's uterus. Q: How does it get out when the Mom pushes? A: All the muscles in the Mom's body have to work together to push it down the birth canal, which is like a tube from the Uterus to the Vagina. And then it comes out the Vagina. 

So far so good. And I was feeling very proud of myself for doing this so well, and accurately (I hope) and being so matter-of-fact and casual like about it. But we were not done yet. "But Mom," he says "why would the Dad put his penis in the Mom's vagina?" Right. Good question. Getting right to the heart of the matter as they say. "Don't screw this up!" my brain is saying to me, as I try to get all the words in the right order, and quickly, so that I don't sound like I'm hesitating because I'm freaked out, (though I might be, just a teeny, tiny bit freaked out). "Because the Mom and Dad love each other, and it feels good, and its something that they like to do together because its fun and it makes them happy." And exhale. But only internally. So the kids can't hear. "And sometimes, when they do, it makes a baby start inside the Mom. But not every time. Just once in awhile." And just for safety's sake. "But only grownups do it with each other. Kids don't do it. Not until they are grown up."

By this time we are in the drive way, so I can turn around and smile at him. He's still got that look on his face like he's computing. But that seems to be it for the questions. "Ok?" I ask, as in: "got any more quesitons kid?" "Ok." he says, gathering up the lego and books that he brought with him as we get ready to leave the car. 

The last thing in our big conversation was from the Little Guy, who, silent up until this point, piped up. "Did I like it in your Vagina?". To which I answered "Well, you weren't in my Vagina. You were in my Uterus. And I think it was nice and safe and warm in there. But one day you got too big to stay in there anymore and you wanted to come out and meet me and Dad and we were very excited to meet you. So then I pushed and I pushed, you came down the birth canal and out my vagina. And then I said 'What a beautiful little boy! Let's call him James!' And there you were." Which got a big smile, and he said, "Yeah! And also, you could call me Michael!" 

I realize now though, that I never gave him a word for what IT was called. I never said "sex". And I wish I had, because its simpler to have the right words. Ah, well, I'm sure it is not the last conversation we will have on the subjet. I'll get another chance to introduce the correct nomenclature. And in the mean time, I get to cross another one off the old parenting list!

Oh! In re-reading this I have just now remembered how we got on the topic of reproduction and birth. It was via Star Wars! Naturally. And the question was: "Did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia have a Mom?" Which they did, and when asked who it was I supplied them with the information that it was Princess Amidala. "And Darth Vader was their Dad, right?" Right. So basically, during that whole conversation he was probably picturing Darth Vader and Princess Amidala having sex. As Lego Minifigures I'll bet. And now I'm laughing hysterically (in my mind again, so the kids don't hear and want to know why I'm laughing). Who ever said parenting was boring? I'm telling you, this is the craziest job ever. 

we're jammin'

My apologies for the corny post title, but really, we could not stop singing the Bob Marley the whole time we worked. Because, you know, we were making jam. 

And I'd also like to apologize for my absence recently. We were away, you see. I should have told you where I was going and when I'd be back, but this was our first real trip together as a family and between the packing and the stress of last minute worrying I totally forgot. Anyhow, more on our trip later. The short version is that Hubs' family lives in BC and we went out there for a long overdue visit. We haven't been out there in, like, five years! Great Grandma has never even met our Little Guy, which is nuts, but you know, plane tickets don't grow on trees. 

Anyhow, while we were there we had the pleasure of spending a day with my sister-in-law's two oldest daughters, who are almost exactly the same age as our Little Dude and Little Guy. It was such a great time, as they kids really get along. Which is a good thing because the weather did NOT co-operate. It rained and drizzled and was grey all day. Eventually we could not stand being inside any more and decided to make a run for the park. Which was just as wet as everywhere else. No sliding or swinging unless you wanted very wet bums. So we wandered from the park into a nearby field for a walk. And guess what we found!
Blackberries! Just miles upon miles of wild blackberry bushes bordered every field. It was kind of amazing. After picking all we could hold in our hands, we headed home (because also, we were wet) and then sent Hubs back out with a plastic bag.

Which he proceeded to fill.

So many berries! Enough for jam, clearly, so I sent hubs out to the stores for jars and sugar and got to work with the kids. 

First we gently washed and rinsed the perfect little berries. 

And then we all lined up to get a turn at mashing. 

We didn't have aprons, so we MacGyvered up some impromptu smocks with tea towels held in place with chip clips. They have a certain sort of South-of-the-Border flair. 

Jam making is such a great activity for kids because you really can't screw it up. We make the no-cook freezer jam, for which you can find the instructions printed on a paper inside any box of Certo pectin crystals (I used the measurements from the Raspberry Jam recipe, because they did not have a Blackberry Jam recipe, and it worked out just fine). I like the Certo Light, because it calls for half the sugar. But we do go ahead and use real sugar. Though you could also use Pomona's Universal Pectin and make it with honey. That totally works too, and is a bit more natural. Just suit yourself. But basically you just wash the fruit, mash the fruit, stir in the pectin, wait half an hour, stir in the sugar, and slam it into some jars. Easy peasy, mac and cheesy as my kids say. You really can't make a mistake. Though it is very, very possible that you will make a mess. The blackberry juice will stain the counter if you are not careful. Just use a little baking soda made into a paste with water and scrub the fresh stains, and they will come right off. 

Also, it will stain your fingers. Not much you can do about that. It wears away in a day or two at the most. No biggie. 

The Little Guy soon figured it out and was mashing away with his most intense mashing face, just for good measure. 

His cousin wasn't quite so sure about the mashing to start with...

...but with a bit of encouragement she was soon mashing away like a pro!

The Little Dude, he was born to mash. 

Then, after the pectin was stirred in, it was time to wait. And what better way to spend the time, than with a little reading. We started in on "The House at Plum Creek" and got about three chapters in before we tired of it. 

And then we were off to other books and games. 

And before we knew it, it was stirring time again.

Stir, stir, stir.

Everybody got a turn. 

Luckily you can't overstir jam.

And in the end there was even a little bit of beautiful fresh blackberry juice, from the bottom of the bowl of clean berries. The weight of the layers of berries had sort of juiced some of the bottom ones. This stuff turned out to be very popular. There was only about a half a cup of the stuff, but we divided it into little tiny toy tea cups....

...and drank it with great gusto!

And here's our finished jam! I know, it doesn't look like much, but these are not really jam jars, but half quart canning jars, so if these were actually jam jars, there would be six of them. Which is a respectable batch of jam. 

But that jam, it was SO GOOD, that we decided to do it all over again, and this time strain out all the seeds and make jelly. But we needed more berries first.  So Hubs went out to brave the brambles again! (Look at those legs! Like he was attacked by a gang of feral cats!) But it was worth it. 

strawberry season

Hey you guys, the strawberries are ready! And this year I have TWO eager, capable little berry pickers. 

Its funny, how, as a parent you are watching your kid grow up, literally on a daily basis. And most of the time you don't notice it happening. Its not always measurable, and often veeeerrrrryyy slow, but then one day you suddenly realize that they've mastered something cool or stopped doing something annoying and you are surprised and delighted. And in this case, all of a sudden it seems that The Little Dude is a competent berry picker. Like, he's actually helpful. Not small child "look how I'm helping mommy!" helpful, but all the while they are making a colossal mess or requiring all your attention and keeping you from accomplishing anything yourself. Nope, this year he was legitimately really good at picking berries. 

All the berries he picked were ripe, he hardly ate any of them, and he needed no redirection or chasing down at any point. He was really helpful!

This one, not so much.

I mean, he was really interested in picking, really motivated, I'll give him that. 

But he had one goal and one goal only....

...and that was stuffing as many berries as possible into his face. I swear they should have weighed him on the way in and then weighed him on the way out and charged us for the difference. 

We had some great company too. Auntie Gwen was there to pick with us.

And our cousin Ariana was there too. So it was not only tasty, but fun. Even though I lost my keys in the field, (don't worry, we found them back) and we forgot the Little Guy's hat (the hat which he hates to wear, but cried his heart out over the loss. Seriously). But despite all that, we still had a great time. And now there is a big basket of berries on the kitchen counter, and we've had berries with every meal today. So lovely. It won't be our last trip to the berry field this season. That's for sure. 

father's day fail

I was going to call this post "worst father's day ever" but that seemed a bit overly dramatic. It wasn't the WORST ever. We had a nice breakfast with lots of fat and lots of sugar, there were some home made gifts and cards made by eager little hands. And lots of hugs and lots of love. But there was also this.  Which is everybody crying at the same time while Hubs tries to deal. This happened a LOT today. I wish that photos came with a sound track. I could have taken a video, but I only had one shot at this as really, the shit was hitting the fan and nobody except Hubs was happy about having thier picture taken. 

Anyhow, the reason things were so rotten was because of this. This is the Little Guy coughing up a lung. I mean, not LITERALLY. His lungs were fine. Its his ears that are not doing so well. A whopper of an ear infection has meant that basically, I have not slept for more than two hours consecutively in two days. He's generally waking up every 45 minutes to an hour at nights. I thought it was just a cold, but today we spent some time at a walk in clinic (oh joy) to get the ear infection diagnosis and some antibiotics. Oh, and also I have strep throat. So that's going to be fun. 

Anyhow, he may not look it in this picture, but he was miserable. So basically Hubs got screwed on the whole Father's Day thing. I was a zombie, the kids were unhappy and there was a general dishevelment and bad smell about the day. At one point, just before the sure-to-be unpleasant dinner hour, he turned to me with a tired sigh and said, "I would kill for a Tim Horton's coffee right now." And I felt very happy to be able to say "you go Babe, go getcher coffee! And today you don't even have to take a kid with you. You're welcome." That was pretty much the high point of his day. 

Aaaaanyhow, I'm tired and have laundry to fold. And then I will eat some ice cream and pass out. 

Happy Father's Day!

Mister Dress-up

This guy is killing it in the wardrobe department lately. I mean literally killing it, what with the swords and all. (or should I say literally imaginarily killing it? I don't know, then we're arguing semantics and that just sucks all the life out of it. You know what I mean) 
I love how intense this mask makes him look. And I love that you can still see his eyes. I'll bet he's smiling. 

Or how about this:Another intentional mash-up of super hero goodness. The Iron Man one-piece is a little big on him, but he pretty much only gets to wear it when his big brother is at school, so he's living in the moment. 

Just in case you weren't sure, that's his fearsome, snarling face. 

And now for a little something slightly less threatening.  A pretty chill little robot. Please note the mittens. It was, like 25 degrees (celcius) that day, but there was no way he was taking off the mittens. "I NEED them," he protested, "because I a ROBOT". Well obviously. 

Also the shoes were important to him. "These are my best." he declared. When I was finally allowed to peel this all off of him he was so sweaty, his hair all wet and stuck to his neck. Apparently it was worth it though. 

play dough time

Lookit. Wanna see something?This is a spider.

The Little Guy made is out of play dough and popsicle sticks all by himself. 

He was very proud. 

If you have little kids and have not given them some play dough to mess around with, what are you waiting for. They frickin' love this stuff, and it keeps them happy and quiet for up to an hour. Its the perfect "while I'm making dinner" activity. Most of the time. So long as there are two little rolling pins and two little plastic knives, (because if they have to share rolling pins all hell breaks loose, and its hard to make dinner when that kind of drama is going on). But usually its fine. I use this recipe where you make it with Jello. Its funny, we havent' eaten Jello in yeeeeaaaars (oddly enough, the kids don't like it) but I always have a couple of packs of the cheapest no-name version just to use for jello making. I'm not a big fan of food colouring and artificial flavours in the stuff that we eat, but I'm totally down with it for play dough purposes. It makes the play dough smell so good, and gives is great colour. Though I should add that after we had a batch go bad pretty quickly once, I upped the salt amount in the recipe to a quarter of a cup so that it would stay good longer. 

Anyhow, go make some play dough. You know, if you have time. Your kids will thank you by making odd things out of it that will make you laugh. 

Sparklers

It was Victoria Day yesterday (that's a Canadian holiday, for my American readers) a holiday on which people who don't have kids go to a cottage and get drunk and people who do have kids stay home, do a lot of gardening, and have fireworks in the evening. Guess which celebratory camp I fall into.

My Dad brought over a box of excitement in the form of cardboard and gunpowder. We had a little bonfire and a LOT of marshmallows. (peanut free, gluten free, dairy free, and so, so full of sugar) And then we shot off all the fireworks. And then we busted out the sparklers. I did not think to haul out the camera until it was sparkeler time, but I'm glad that I did. 

Kids faces are always so lovely, all lit up by the oddly gentle glow of a crazily crackling sparkler. 

I'm trying to remember if this was the Little Guy's first time with a sparkler. If there was a previous time I would have been last year, which is basically a lifetime ago when you are three. In any case this was his first time with a sparkler as a three-year-old, so that's something. 

Sparklers are this crazy, weird, dangerous thing that we all seem to love. Its so counter-intuitive. "here, treasured child of my heart, here's a burning stick for you to hold while you run around in the dark." An odd exception in this world where we cut grapes in half and never even let them on a tricycle without a helmet. Its weird that they still exist. Not that I want them banned. It feels like a little bit of safe danger, if you know what I mean. Anyhow, the guy selling fireworks by the side of the road told my Dad that this may be the last year they sell them. So we bought two packs. 

They sure make for some awesome photos. A fun time was had by all, and we stayed up two whole hours past their bedtime, much to their delight. Though BOY did we pay for that late night today. Everyone was very tired and VERY touchy. At least I got some good pictures of all the fun and happiness which I could refer to when everyone was loosing it today. 

sunshine and watermelon

It was such a gorgeous day today. Sunny and warm. Almost, almost hot even, if you sat right in the sun. We decided to have lunch on the deck, and topped it all off with watermelon for dessert.  It was a fantastically good watermelon. Sweet, and so juicy!

The kind of juicy where it runs down your arms to drip off your elbow, and gets all over your chin, and drips onto your batman t-shirt, even though you took the precaution of tying a napkin around your neck, (cause you be mobbin' like that). But whatever, you don't even care, because you are busy eating the daylights outta that sweet, sweet watermelon. 

And pretending that it is an extra big smile-y face, over your already smiling face. 

Or a frown-y face. Because you are hilarious. 

Such a gorgeous day, it felt like nothing could ruin it.  Even when we dropped a piece of watermelon, it still managed to be beautiful. So we admired the splat and cut ourselves another slice. 

explanations

This is one of my favourite things.This is how so many conversations happen around here...

Two heads bent over a sheet of paper, things being drawn and pointed at, ideas becoming pictures so that we can all understand. 

And its not just a one way conversation. The Little Dude has picked up that habit of using a paper and pencil to illustrate his ideas. 

And I love this so much. Not just the way that they use drawing to explain things, but the way that they really listen to each other as they do it.

Just so that you can be in on the explanation too, this is a picture of a spaceship. It has fire coming out of the bottom and a push button on the side that is glow in the dark, and a sound component on the top that says "Hello! Hello! Hello!". And there are planets; and Saturn and a star and a sun, and an alien of course. Its something he's planning to build, but he needs Hubs' assistance with the lights and sound components, hence the helpful explanatory drawing. So many ideas. And so many drawings! He's going to need his own filing system. 

graphic novel time

Its no secret to anyone who reads here often that we love the library. We go to our local libary once a week at least, and we can easily spend an hour there. And we take out a lot of books. Possibly too many, from the look of my overdue fines currently, but I just can't say no to library books. And why should I? The boys get lots of books, but lately they are very, very into graphic novels. Which I love for a variety of reasons. First of all, I love a really well illustrated book. And I love a densely illustrated book. And the boys love that they can, more or less, "read" it themselves. The pictures are telling them the story, which means they can do it on their own. And also, they tend to be long, which means they spend a long time reading the book, which makes me happy. The Little Guy especially loves to page through a book, pouring over the pictures, but he can rip through a pile of books in no time flat. So I love how much longer a graphic novel keeps him busy.

Anyhow, this week e were hardly in the door from the library......before we cracked open the new books. Seriously, their shoes were not even off yet and they were hunkered down side by side to slowly page through the densely illustrated books.  

(I had to include this picture because this is one of the many hammy faces that the Little Dude likes to make when he notices I'm taking his picture). 

So here are a few of our favourite graphic novels. I recommend these, though I will always say that you should pre-screen these type of books for your kids. You might have different standards for your kids than I do and your kids may be more sensitive about certain types of imagery than mine. That being said there is obviously nothing graphically sexual or violent about these books. But there are always nuances that might bother one child more than another. Especially in "spooky" books. But disclaimer aside, these are some that we really like. The Hilda series by Luke Pearson are my favourites. They are just so gorgeous and just slightly weird. 

Lots of mystical creatures, but none of them are malevolent. 

And they colour palettes are amazing. Plus also, TINY HOUSES!

This is the Little Dude's current favourite. Earthling by Mark Fearing. You can download a sample chapter on his website, which even has colouring pages. We love colouring pages. 

It has a great relateable plot (new kid in school has trouble fitting in) but with a sci fi twist (the school is in outer space). And it has taught him lots of fun new words like "telemetry". Also, it is small and portable and broken into chapters, which was very convenient for reading aloud to my five year old. I used this one as the incentive for a good, smooth, focused getting-ready-for-school morning. If there was no dawdling/whining/dragging his feet, we got to read it together one chapter at a time as we sat outside in the snow waiting for the bus. 

The Little Guy LOVES cats. And space. So the Binky the Cat books by Ashley Spires, are a no brainer.Scary Godmother, by Jill Thompson is the Little Dude's all time favourite. Its an anthology of a whole series of books the theme of which is general light spookieness. Which he LOVES!

His favourite storyline is about this little girl who takes over the duties of preparing her neighborhood for Halowe'en when her Scary Godmother gets sick. 

I just love her watercolour illustrations. 

So expressive and awesome. (And don't worry, little Hannah here gets over her fright and sadness pretty fast when she finds out how fun and awesome all the monsters are that she is initally scared of).
The boys spent much of the rest of the afternoon curled up with various books and graphic novels. And I have no complaints about that. People who are busy reading are generally speaking, not fighting. Which is awesome.

Oh, blessed, blessed book-based quiet. How I love it.